Proof Of My Somewhat Redneck Upbringing

1. I've been to many a "field party"

2. The floor of our old Datsun was deteriorated and you could see the road through the floorboard

3. Our glass door didn't lock well, so we would put a piece of wood in the track to keep it from opening.

4. We kept a frequently-used fry basket pan on our stovetop and used the same grease over and over and over and over again.

5. Tick checks=Every night

6. We had a propane tank in our yard (I would argue that this isn't white trash at all, but I've been told that it is very country..."oh, we're so fancy with our gas")

7. When I was a toddler, I was in a bad car accident with my mom. I was carried to safety by some Hell's Angels.

8. We kept an empty tub of Crisco on our counter for grease

9. We followed the high school basketball team's bus in our car on the way to games (hey, if they did it on Hoosiers, it's okay by me)

10. I've had to spit out the buckshot while eating meat

11. One of my Dad's best friends always wore a cowboy hat that was decorated with some sort of stone and turkey feathers

12. Our kitchen used to be taken over every morning because of calf formula preparation

13. My school was cancelled on the first day of deer season

14. I looked forward to events such as Toad Suck Daze and The Broiler Festival

15. There were no traffic signals in the town I grew up in

16. My brother had a crush on our (distant? not so distant?) cousin

17. Drove the haytruck when I was little enough to barely reach the pedals

18. We could put a letter in the mailbox with a quarter on top instead of a stamp

19. I've gotten to many places by riding in a truck bed on the tire well

20. My dad used to buy flannel shirts and wear them in the winter, then cut the sleeves off to wear them in the summer.

21. Grew up swimming in creeks and swimmin' holes. Table Rock Lake was like really fancy for us.

22. A gun cabinet was part of our living room decor.

23. Some of my uncles- Bud, Bobo, Wimpy, and Leon, and I have a cousin named Tommy Two (instead of junior).

24. There is a memorial in my grandpa's yard because some lady who lived there during the civil war killed two soldiers with an ax.

25. Our first matching living room furniture set was bought out of the back of a trailer.

26. We had a tin shed in our yard. (Dad built it)

27. I have referenced "bought air."

28. We used to pick walnuts and sell them.

29. More yard decor... three foot tall milk cans

30. My favorite article of clothing during freshmen/sophomore year were my jeans passed down from my dad that were stained with cow placenta.

31. Mom and Dad would go to field parties and leave us sleeping in the car.