What We Did In Willow Springs

1. My husband and Uncle Chuck went turkey hunting Friday and Saturday mornings
2. Friday morning, the kids and I ran errands with Aunt Patsy: library, egg deliveries, a stop by the hair salon, grocery shopping, and a visit with Sweet Bonnie at the nursing home
3. Back to Patsy's for lunch- mushroom and onion pizza. My kids even ate it, which was surprising. Maybe they've been holding out for local, organic mushrooms this whole time?
4. Friday afternoon we went and saw a man's house- maybe the most unbelievable experience of my life. I can't even describe it...he has so many antique collectibles (from canned goods to old ice skates) that he has built a general store, blacksmith shop, gun shop...he owns a Gatling gun, for instance. It was amazing! My eyes were like silver dollars the whole time we were there.
5. Friday night supper at their house- burgers and veggie burgers and potato salad and green salad- so good! Patsy makes this unusually delicious potato salad.
6. Late night trip to the West Plains ER with R because he was having some breathing problems
7. The nurses gave him a Beanie Baby Buffalo, so we watched many episodes of Guy on a Buffalo. R's in love.
8. Saturday morning drive over to Simpson's Strawberries in Mountain Grove for strawberry picking. I was just going to get a quart or so, but walked away with 13 pounds.
9. The kids probably ate 50 strawberries while we were picking them and were covered head to toe in red juice. The people who worked their were all pretty old and loved it.
10. W loved playing with their cat, Roxy Belle, and now wants a cat instead of a dog. Poor Puddy!
11. Egg salad sandwiches, crackers, and strawberries for lunch
12. We had to engage in a thorough tick-check after I found one on both of the kiddos.
13. Our traditional trip to Smiley's Ice Cream Shoppe on the way out of town. I had Black Forest Cake, and I think it was the best ice cream I've ever had. Maybe ties with the Peach at Kilwin's in North Carolina.

What I Shouldn't Be Awakened At Midnight To Do

1. Lift up our queen-sized mattress by myself to retrieve my dog's small rawhide stick that was trapped between the footboard and the mattress
2. Assure my daughter that no one "swiped her baby" (her baby named Sunshine Bright Polly) and that it was just on the floor by her bed
3. Dress and diaper my son, because he apparently stripped naked before he fell asleep
4. Clean up dog vomit from the crate because I suppose the rawhide excitement got him all nauseous

Today

1. Woke up at my parent's house around 7:00 to drive to Crane with my dad, little sister, and R.

2. Stopped in Harrison for a little grocery shopping

3. Took the scenic route to Crane to visit some of my vague childhood memories

4. Visited with my grandparents at the nursing home- I felt like I was valuable there because I found my grandpa's missing hearing aid

5. My son will do ANYTHING for a few peanut M&Ms, so I was able to get him to give hugs to my grandparents and snuggle with grandpa (which I'm sure made grandpa's week).

6. Drove over to my dad's farm so he could haul off some manure dirt. He and my sister shoveled about 18 buckets while R and I walked around and tried to win over the cows. R really wanted to ride one, but they did not oblige.

7. Went over to my grandpa's house to check on the fence and look at a Civil War burial marker

8. Drove to Branson to eat dinner with my brother and his family- "Branson Melts" and guacamole.

9. A quick stop at the gas station and the Harter House to stock up on some Mexican Villa taco sauce.

10. Back to my parents house by 10:30.

For My Brother-In-Law Ryan On His Birthday

1. I like to call him Rhino.

2. Once he and I and my little sister Tracy (not his wife, that's my other sister) went to a Counting Crows concert and some people offered us a hit off what they were smoking. His declining their offer was as casual cool as it comes.

3. My son loves him and remembers often a fun day he spent with Ryan and his two sons just doing boy stuff.

4. He really loves our family, not just because he has to. He seems to genuinely enjoy our crazy bunch.

5. I think his Diet Coke addiction paired with his strict veganism is just too hilarious.

6. He is a huge Illini fan. I am a huge Razorbacks fan. My brother's a huge Mizzou fan. I like that.

7. He once had a strange interaction with a Tia & Tamara commercial that just killed me.

8. When the Lord of the Rings trilogy was coming out in theaters at Christmastimes, we'd go see them and for a time, and calling each other Orcs was a huge insult.

9. He's been around our family for like 18 years. That is crazy to me. I do feel like he's been a part of our family forever.

10. When my sister was pregnant with her firstborn, I rode back from Florida in their car with them. She slept the ENTIRE way home in the back seat. He and I talked the whole time and listened to the new Matchbox 20 CD on repeat.

11. He is my favorite person to watch get tickled and laugh. It's a riot!

12. He is very talented and good at everything he does.

13. Back before he was a big-shot in the wireless communications field, he was a third grade teacher. One year, I helped him set up his classroom.

14. He always drove the saddest grandpa-type cars, but now he has a cool car that suits him, and that makes me really happy.

15. I just asked W what she likes about Uncle Ryan, and she said, "I like that he's big and strong."

16. He indulges my sister in what the world might consider her craziness- her diet, her flamboyant parties...he loves it all and thinks it's great fun.

17. He is one of the hardest workers I know.

18. He is a good and patient and kind father. My husband and I often have "What Would Ryan Do?" moments in our parenting discussions.

19. My sister has a vegan blog and whenever she posts photos of him, strangers always comment on how hot he is, often to the point of inappropriateness. It's about the food, people!

20. I just asked R what he likes about Uncle Ryan, and he said, "Him's a fun man!" Perfect.

Things That Remind Me Of My Great-Aunt Mert

1. Halls cough drops, the yellow ones

2. Roses- seeing them, smelling them. They grew beautiful roses.

3. She always called her purse her "pocketbook." I love that.

4. Pink Dove soap. I used to walk by it at the store and smell it just to remember her. I bought some at Schnucks this week, and I can smell it all over our house.

5. Her skin was always so cool, but it was silky and warm at the same time. She was the coziest person ever.

6. The song Make Me Down a Pallet On Your Floor by Gillian Welch. She used to make us cozy pallets in the living room to nap and watch TV with blankets and bed pillows. Their house always made me sleepy, because it was so comfortable and safe.

7. Any time I see someone lying on the floor with their feet pointed to the TV. She wouldn't let us lie like that because she said we wouldn't be able to have babies.

8. Back scratches- no one does them better than she did. She filed her long nails often and they were always perfect for a good scratch.

9. She had this blue/purple mole at the bottom of her neck on her chest. It used to freak me out.

10. Their radio in the kitchen used to play softly 24 hours a day.

11. Those little candies that are like caramel Tootsie Rolls that are either pink, blue, or yellow. And Hershey's miniatures. And Werther's Originals. Their candy drawer was the second one down to the right of the refrigerator.

12. Beauty pageants- we used to watch Miss America with my sisters and make score sheets and rate the contestants and pick our favorites.

13. They had the best cabinet that was also Mert's end table by "her seat" on the couch. It had Cool Whip tubs full of crayons, Big Chief tablets, coloring books, lined tablets, and those things you could draw on the plastic sheet with the plastic "pen" then lift up the plastic sheet to erase it. They also bought us those big 64 crayon boxes with the sharpener on the box, which was really fancy for us.

14. I would love to have the wallpaper that was in their kitchen and hallway.

15. This painting

16. Every time I drive by the Lebanon exit on Hwy 44- I used to go their with her and Donald to Mert's doctor appointments

17. Every time I make mashed potatoes, I use what I think is her recipe, but must not be, because they don't taste 1/100th as good as hers did.

18. She always, always wore those thick white support/control stockings. Those must have been really uncomfortable, and even more uncomfortable to NOT wear them, which makes me sad for her.

19. They used to decorate their huge cactus in the living room for Christmas instead of bringing in a tree.

20. Their 3rd bedroom was converted into a yarn room for Mert to keep her shelves and shelves of yarn and crochet supplies.

21. Fishing. Donald was a terrific fisherman, and he and Mert would take us out on their boat for the day. I would catch little tiny perch and then we would eat chicken nuggets and drink grape juice and Mert would put wet washcloths in ziploc bags and keep them in the cooler to cool off our hands and faces if it got too hot on the water.

22. I didn't really have a traditional grandma. She filled that role for us. She let us have candy and cookies and junky cereal and drink Kool-Aid with our meals and have cans of grape juice for no reason and was an amazing cook. They would take us to Wal-Mart to buy us anything we wanted. We would eat meals with them, and they babysat us. She gave her whole life for us.

23. She loved us like crazy. I hope that I can love that well.

24. I loved the smell of their house. If I remember really hard, I can still smell it. And sometimes it's mixed with their wood fireplace.

25. My little sister always got to sit with Uncle Donald in his chair. I was always too nervous to ask if I could sit their, too. I'm glad I just let that be their special thing. I loved snuggling with Mert, so it wasn't like I had it rough or anything.

26. We used to play kickball in their front yard. I wish I remembered the bases. I think that first base was the corner of the wrought-iron fence around their front porch, and third base was a pine tree.

27. Their front driveway was a super-steep gravel one. They would say "push! push!" and we would all push the dashboard, seat in front of us, whatever thinking we could help push the car up the hill.

My Big Sister's Top Ten Favorite Songs Of All Time

1. Romeo and Juliet- Indigo Girls
2. Sullivan Street- Counting Crows
3. The Sound of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel
4. In My Life- Judy Collins or The Beatles
5. Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond
6. And So It Goes- Billy Joel
7. Untitled Hymn - Chris Rice
8. Your Song- Elton John
9. Fix You- Coldplay
10. Scratch- Kendall Payne

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A Sampling Of My Mom's Curiously Odd Answers In An Enlightening Game Of "Choices"

1. Kevin James over Brad Pitt
2. She picks Alfred as the hottest Ludlow brother in Legends of the Fall. Over Tristan, who is arguably the hottest movie character of all time. Clearly Brad Pitt isn't her cup of tea.
3. George Strait over Alan Jackson
4. George Strait for the win as he edges out Kevin James
5. In another shocker, Mom chooses Ted as the cutest guy on How I Met Your Mother.
6. Jason Street from Friday Night Lights. Jason Street. Not Coach Taylor. Not Tim Riggins. Sigh.


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My Big Brother's Top Ten Favorite Songs Of All Time

1. These are the Days- Van Morrison
2. High Enough- Damn Yankees
3. Faithfully- Journey
4. Come Monday- Jimmy Buffet
5. Jesse's Girl- Rick Springfield
6. Forever Young- Rod Stewart
7. Basket Case- Green Day
8. Sweet Thing- Van Morrison
9. Father and Son- Cat Stevens
10. Drift Away- Dobie Gray


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My Little Sister's Top Ten Favorite Songs Of All Time

1. Chelsea Hotel- Leonard Cohen
2. A Case of You- Joni Mitchell
3. Fruits of My Labor- Lucinda Williams
4. Tougher Than The Rest- Bruce Springsteen
5. Banjo Moon- Greg Brown
6. Catch the Wind- Donovan
7. Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters-Elton John
8. Smile- Kevin Kerby
9. You Are Everything- The Stylistics
10. Arkansas- Damien Jurado


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My Dad's Favorite Songs Of All Time

1. If You Could Read My Mind- Gordon Lightfoot
2. Fire and Rain- James Taylor
3. He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother- The Hollies
4. Thunder Road- Bruce Springsteen
5. Whiter Shade of Pale- Procol Harum
6. Have You Ever Seen the Rain- CCR
7. Mudslide Slim- James Taylor
8. September Morn- Neil Diamond
9. Long and Winding Road- The Beatles
10. What Is Life- George Harrison
11. Bridge Over Troubled Water- Simon & Garfunkel


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What We Did When My Sister And Niece Were In Town

1. A great deal of chatting

2. The little girls twirled and danced and dressed up a lot

3. Vegan sweet treat snacking

4. Breakfasts at home

5. Lunch at Rooster

6. Fairy tale tea with the girls

7. Dinner at Pi

8. Watched Hoarders, Extreme Couponing, and Amazing Race while giving each other full-body massages (she's better than me)

9. Went to Lafayette Park with Grandma Linda, Albert, and Hope to play and feed the swans and geese

10. Facebook stalked people from our past

11. Quesadilla and guacamole send-off lunch

thanks for coming, Jenny!

What My Parents Bought For Us On Their Visit Here

1. 5 meals out

2. Anthropologie gift card for my birthday

3. Spices at Penzey's

4. W a princess dress for her birthday (and a t-shirt and a dress at City Sprouts)

5. Groceries at Whole Foods

6. Whole Foods gift card

7. Little horses for my kids

8. Easter cookie cutters- W has been requesting cut-out cookies

9. Lots of snacks for the kids and me

Jobs In My Family

1. My husband's a commercial real estate broker
2. My dad's a railroader
3. My mom and my mother-in-law are realtors
4. My little sister works at a bakery
5. My brother's a principal
6. My father-in-law, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law are all lawyers
7. My brother-in-law works for Verizon (after 15 years, can't I just call Ryan my brother?)
8. My grandpa is a retired soldier and medical prison guard
9. Another brother-in-law is in the Air Force Band
10. My sister-in-law works for the opera in D.C.

My Big Brother

1. He is 7 years older than me. Seemed like a big difference when we were younger, now...not so much.

2. I would characterize him as the responsible, first child, more serious one of the bunch

3. Wears his emotions on his face. He can't hide anything or lie at all. You can read him like a book.

4. He is a middle school principal

5. One of my most embarrassing moments involves him kissing his friend Leslie in front of our whole town, but I'll save that story for my 2nd installment of "Proof of my Somewhat Redneck Upbringing"

6. I moved into his room when he went off to Mizzou, and I missed him so much that I refused to remove or move around anything in his room

7. I used to cry myself to sleep fearing that he would be drafted and have to fight in the Gulf War

8. He moved back home for two years a couple years after graduating from college to pursue a degree in secondary education. This was my senior year of high school and freshman year of college. Drama ensued.

9. Well, any drama that ensued revolved around me coming home drunk a lot and him having to deal with it.

10. He has four kids

11. I remembering crying and praying that God would make him get back together with his high school girlfriend because I loved her so much and remember thinking that he would never find anyone better.

12. He did! My sister-in-law is AMAZING.

13. One of my favorite moments ever was him sheepishly saying, "I think I might be wearing your socks. The reason I think that is that I got them out of your drawer."

14. He was a long-term sub at my high school during my senior year. My friends thought he was so cute and he would come visit me during lunch.

15. He hates being barefoot

16. He drove 3 hours to help me move when I was fired from a job and had to get out of my apartment quickly

17. He was a really big-time athlete in high school

18. My older sister and I used to fight over who would get to wear his baseball jacket to school.

19. He makes really good milkshakes, salsa, and grilled burgers (I hear)

20. He is very smart

21. He used to play the trumpet

22. He is knock, knock, knockin' on 40's door

23. Anytime he's at his house, he's usually wearing a t-shirt and basketball shorts

24. He is the only sibling who is not a vegan or vegetarian

25. We like the same kind of movies (2 or 3 stars in our old tv guide) and shows

26. He likes my brownies

27. We were pen pals while he was in college

28. He loves history

29. He and I are known for sneaking around trying to locate hiding Christmas presents. My big sister caught us a few years ago.

30. He was "that guy" in high school--star athlete, good looking, fancy car, valedictorian

31. I remember being in his fraternity house while he was in college, thinking it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen

32. He lived in a really cute old house in Springfield before he got married

33. He puts red pepper flakes on everything and loves hot and spicy foods

34. My big sister used to have a freakishly OCD arranged room with the most random crap (sorry, sis) including these tiny little seashells lined up. My brother replaced the shells with boogers.

35. He is very protective. It used to be over us, but now he is a protective father. I like that about him. You always feel safe.

36. He likes to sing and dance when no one is watching. Well, no one except for family.

37. He had an imaginary friend named Amos when he was little.

38. He and his wife are very hospitable. I love being at their house.

39. I think the only time I've been hot-mad at him was once when we were younger, he insisted on watching a Cardinals game when I desperately wanted to watch Swans Crossing.

40. He is so funny.

Songs That Remind Me Of My Family

1. You are Everything- The Stylistics
2. Duke of Earl- Gene Chandler
3. Don't Know Much- Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt
4. Crystal Blue Persuasion- Tommy James & The Shondells
5. School Days- Byron Harlan
6. Cotton Fields- Creedence Clearwater Revival
7. Samuel's solo song on Legends of the Fall- I think it's called Twilight and Mist
8. Down in the Valley
9. Dear Mr Jesus (Tracy, that one's for you)
10. Words- Bee Gees
11. A made up song, "The Gown Girls"
12. Romeo and Juliet- Indigo Girls
13. The Chipmunk Christmas song
14. Leader of the Pack (and my sister's re-write)
15. River- Joni Mitchell
16. Leaving- Indigo Girls
17. Thunder Road- Bruce Springsteen
18. Wouldn't It Be Nice- The Beach Boys
19. With a Little Help From My Friends- Joe Cocker
20. Rains Down in Africa- Toto?
21. Lady Down on Love- Alabama (a lot of old Alabama songs)

My Mom, In Honor Of Her 55th Birthday

1. We are a lot alike
2. She is very sentimental
3. She loves Christmas and loves having her family together for the holidays.
4. My mom is an amazing cook. I love everything that she makes.
5. I feel really lucky now that my parents started their family so early, because now I have really young parents
6. My mom takes care of people really well
7. She is very hospitable
8. She is so accommodating...one vegan daughter, one uber-vegan daughter, vegetarian daughter, meat-eater son, and everyone else with specific tastes...there is always something for everyone
9. I think my mom always looks really nice
10. She loves giving gifts. Even if it's something small, she gets joy from giving people things.
11. Growing up, I remember mom being really fun
12. She used to love (probably still does) to roller skate. I think that says a lot about her.
13. She is so loving towards us. I've NEVER heard her say one complaining/cross/unflattering thing about us kids
14. She's a really good realtor and goes above and beyond with all of her clients
15. My mom knows me well. She can always guess what I would like, how I would respond, what would taste good to me, etc
16. She is very selfless
17. Her and my dad love to travel together and always have a great time on trips
18. She loves my kids really well
19. She is extremely generous (time, money, herself...)
20. Family is always first to her.
21. She is my biggest fan. And she lets me know that all of the time.
22. She never judges me, which is a great thing to say about your mom.
23. She cries at bizarre things. It seems like a funny thing to say, but it is really cute.
24. I have a really good time with my mom and really look forward to our visits.
25. Even though 55 is NOT old, she does not look or act like she's 55.
26. Growing up, I never felt pressure to perform or live up to any high standards she had. She's always loved me for who I am.
27. She is also rough when she needs to be...she's not afraid to drop the s-bomb or tell you that you're being a titty baby.
28. She is a trooper...always up for most things.
29. I think that her and my dad are cute together. They've been together for over 40 years!
30. People who know her love her.
31. She always tells me how proud she is of me.
32. She always tells me that I am a great mother.
33. I am proud of her.
34. She is a great mother.

What I Loved About My Sister's New Apartment

1. It was so completely her
2. Amazing green walls
3. Bold purple walls
4. Little things from our past that only our family would recognize
5. Her creepy childhood bear, "Pebbles"--still on the bed
6. Never have I before admired a shower caddy. It was serious.
7. Cool record player
8. My artwork was hanging in her dining room
9. Lots of plants
10. Her Little Boy Blue print. It's a very special painting in my family.
11. You could spend hours studying all her curiosities.
12. Her bed looked cozy, and typical her, she sleeps with 10 pillows.
13. Organized kitchen
14. Seeing her guitar propped up reminded me of what a beautiful singer and musician she is
15. I'm really picky about big rugs, and hers was cute
16. This little mouse house scene painting that hung in our room growing up is on her kitchen windowsill
17. She uses as her comforter the quilt that was on my parents bed when we were little
18. Tons of great books
19. She might be the only person left who still has an actively used VHS collection. Including the movie "Roxanne". A classic.
20. The whole place smelled pleasant.

Ways My Dad And I Are Alike

1. We both love coconut cream pie

2. We are both practical jokers

3. We are both married to people who do not like practical jokes

4. We love North Face coats and jackets

5. We both have a lot of clothes

6. We love a good breakfast sandwich (PB, smooshed up banana, fruit, cereal/granola)

7. We love Mexican food

8. We are both bad dancers, but think we are good dancers

9. We both appear first to be quiet or shy, but are not really

10. We both desire to eat very healthy

11. Well, we both eat really healthy but love a sweet treat

12. We love history

13. We like things to be nice and organized, even to the point of being anal

14. We both are slaves to our routines

15. We like getting gifts

16. We both love to travel

17. We both love small towns

18. We are both extremely cool

Proof Of My Somewhat Redneck Upbringing

1. I've been to many a "field party"

2. The floor of our old Datsun was deteriorated and you could see the road through the floorboard

3. Our glass door didn't lock well, so we would put a piece of wood in the track to keep it from opening.

4. We kept a frequently-used fry basket pan on our stovetop and used the same grease over and over and over and over again.

5. Tick checks=Every night

6. We had a propane tank in our yard (I would argue that this isn't white trash at all, but I've been told that it is very country..."oh, we're so fancy with our gas")

7. When I was a toddler, I was in a bad car accident with my mom. I was carried to safety by some Hell's Angels.

8. We kept an empty tub of Crisco on our counter for grease

9. We followed the high school basketball team's bus in our car on the way to games (hey, if they did it on Hoosiers, it's okay by me)

10. I've had to spit out the buckshot while eating meat

11. One of my Dad's best friends always wore a cowboy hat that was decorated with some sort of stone and turkey feathers

12. Our kitchen used to be taken over every morning because of calf formula preparation

13. My school was cancelled on the first day of deer season

14. I looked forward to events such as Toad Suck Daze and The Broiler Festival

15. There were no traffic signals in the town I grew up in

16. My brother had a crush on our (distant? not so distant?) cousin

17. Drove the haytruck when I was little enough to barely reach the pedals

18. We could put a letter in the mailbox with a quarter on top instead of a stamp

19. I've gotten to many places by riding in a truck bed on the tire well

20. My dad used to buy flannel shirts and wear them in the winter, then cut the sleeves off to wear them in the summer.

21. Grew up swimming in creeks and swimmin' holes. Table Rock Lake was like really fancy for us.

22. A gun cabinet was part of our living room decor.

23. Some of my uncles- Bud, Bobo, Wimpy, and Leon, and I have a cousin named Tommy Two (instead of junior).

24. There is a memorial in my grandpa's yard because some lady who lived there during the civil war killed two soldiers with an ax.

25. Our first matching living room furniture set was bought out of the back of a trailer.

26. We had a tin shed in our yard. (Dad built it)

27. I have referenced "bought air."

28. We used to pick walnuts and sell them.

29. More yard decor... three foot tall milk cans

30. My favorite article of clothing during freshmen/sophomore year were my jeans passed down from my dad that were stained with cow placenta.

31. Mom and Dad would go to field parties and leave us sleeping in the car.

Things About My Husband That Make Me Jealous

1. Kid-free lunches with his friends

2. Being in the car without kids during the day

3. Going to Cardinal games (esp. when it's in green seats or luxury boxes)

4. He eats whatever he wants...usually guilt-free

5. He's typically good at whatever he does

6. He gets to leave our house every day and gets paid to do so

7. He has more freedom in his schedule than I do