Why I Loved This Week's New Girl Episode

1. River is one of my favorite songs, so it was fun to see it featured so prominently in the episode. Joni does reach right into the soul.
2. Jess made a Cylon reference. A Cylon reference! If you are a Battlestar Galactica fan, which I am, you were dying on that one.
3. So hilarious when Schmidt (sweet-wish-I-had-him-bottled-up-Schmidt) "The fact that you were wearing pajamas in the presence of your lover tells me that that relationship was doomed from the start."
4. "I thought at first you were the Asian Jess, but now I realize I am just a Caucasian Jen"
5. A Tom Waits reference! Nick saying the voices in his head have the voice of Tom Waits. I was just waiting for Jess to say her voices are Crystal Gayle's and they would break into a little "One From The Heart."
6. "You've backslid...all the way down the hill into the parking lot, taken your skis off and waiting for your family."
7. When Schmidt asked Cece's grandmother if he deserved a girl as great as Cece, and she responded with, "Not with all those moles on your face." Beautiful.
8. When Schmidt told Jess she wasn't the only one hurting..."the economy stinks, bees are dying, movies are pretty much all sequels now, and I have a broken penis."
9. Schmidt (again, hilarious) when he said to give Winston's earring a break because he'd just gotten back from Carnivale.
10. This Caroline/Nick/please-Jess love triangle is coming to a head and I predict it will be awesome.
11. "I'm sorry I made you feel like Monica Lewinsky." "Stop crying. You are literally the ugliest crier I have ever seen. You cry smile!"
12. Nick's Caroline video was amazing. "Or whatever they call you in your time."

Tom's List of Oh-No-No's That Would Cause Him To Break Up With A Girl (From Parks & Rec)

1. Not being familiar with 90's R&B music
2. Having a low minimal acceptable thread count for sheets
3. Never seeing a Paul Walker movie
4. Not caring about Blu-Ray
5. Owning less Uggs than he does
6. Still using an iPad 1
7. Reading a lot
8. Disagreeing on "Who Wore It Best"

A Jeopardy! Game I Could Dominate

The Jeopardy! Round

1. David Gray Lyrics

2. Fruits and Vegetables

3. Gangs

4. New Testament Verses

5. Arkansas

6. Bravo TV

The Double Jeopardy! Round

7. Native Americans

8. Gabriel Garcia Marquez Novels

9. Modern Art

10. Saturday Night Live Commercials

11. Capitols of the World

12. John Hughes Films

The Final Jeopardy! Round

13. George A. Custer

If I Could Only Watch 5 TV Shows

1. New Girl

2. Fringe

3. Parks & Recreation

4. Parenthood

5. Modern Family

Andy's Bucket List

Not my husband, but Andy from Parks and Recreation- my favorite comedy on TV

1. Catch the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl

2. Make the most amazing grilled cheese ever

3. Win the lottery

4. Ride a unicycle

5. Invent something

6. Remake the movie Kazaam, where Shaquille O'Neal plays a genie, and get it right

7. Go skydiving

8. Outrun a hippo

9. Ride first-class on a plane and when people are walking by, go like this...(he makes a condescending face and gives a little snicker)

10. Hold $1000 cash

11. Be an action star

12. Drive to the Grand Canyon

Shows I Am No Longer Going To Watch

1. The Bachelor
2. The Bachelorette
3. The Bachelor Pad
4. CSI:NY
5. Law and Order:SVU
6. Real Housewives of (anywhere)
7. Dina's Party (I don't know why I even started this one. It's pretty dull.)
8. CSI
9. Watch What Happens Live
10. Grey's Anatomy
11. Ringer is circling the drain. I'm giving it two more episodes.

My Old Favorite Game Shows

1. Family Feud

2. Win, Lose, or Draw

3. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

4. Wheel of Fortune

5. Jeopardy

6. The Newlywed Show

7. Price is Right

8. Double Dare

My Favorite Childhood Cartoons

1. DuckTales
2. Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers
3. Woody Woodpecker (but my favorite was the featured "Chilly Willy the Penguin")
4. Get-A-Long Gang
5. The Littles
6. Smurfs
7. Jem
8. Alvin & the Chipmunks

April's Rules For A Potential New Roommate (From Parks & Recreation)

1. You can't use the front door, you have to climb in through the window

2. No personal phone conversations

3. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, use the formal usted

4. No electricity after 6 pm

5. If you ever watch sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see if you have been crying

6. No noise on Mondays

7. No TV after breakfast

Favorite 30 Rock Moments

1. When Tracy's "metaphor" claims that affirmative action was devised to keep minorities and women in competition as a distraction in order for the white man government to inject AIDS into chicken nuggets. He later bursts onto the stage in his debut on TGS and shouts, "I'm from the government and I'm here to inspect your nuggets"

2. When Liz comes out wearing denim overall shorts, and Jack looks at her in surprised disgust and gasps, "lesbian Mario Brothers."

3. Jack saying, "Lemon, if you were any other woman on the earth, I'd be turned on right now." (I don't remember why he said it, but it was hilarious.

4. Liz making the million dollar donation speech for the "Jack and Elizabeth Donaghy School for Teen Drama, the Arts, and Feelings" on TV with that odd "rich" accent

5. Jack explaining why the minister thought she would have been the bride at his wedding (mosquito netting over her face, shoes on the beach...)

6. Liz wondered why Jack was wearing a tux, to which he replied, "Lemon, it's after 6...what am I, a farmer?"

7. When Jack and Liz were at the 6 Sigma (?) conference and his microphone was on during his self-affirmation in the bathroom...Liz wanted to save him and distract the crowd, so she jumped up on stage and sang, "Everybody Dance now!" and ripped open her shirt and started awkward dancing in her bra.

8. Speaking of, her awkward performance in front of the green screen shooting the opening to her never-made-it show. (did her "sexy" look like she was shooting a basketball? I can't remember, but it was genius)

9. Dressing up like Princess Leia and her hologram speech to get excused from jury duty

10. Jack telling Liz to "never follow a hippie to a second location" during the Carrie Fischer episode

11. The Cleveland Song with Jason Sudekis

12. Liz and Jack's faces while the HR person was quizzing them about their appropriateness of their work relationship

13. Kenneth saying he doesn't drink hot liquids because it's the "devil's temperature"

14. When Liz defended Tracy biting Dakota Fanning in the face because "if you hear his version of it, she kind of deserved it."

15. At a bar with Jenna, Liz wonders if a guy would buy her mozzerella sticks instead of a drink.

16. When Jack decides to update the demographic forms because they include colored people, broads, fairies, and commies.

17. Maybe anything that Jack says

Favorite Saturday Night Live Moments, Of All Time

1. The Taco Town commercial. My favorite SNL commercial ever.

2. Speaking of commercials, Bad Idea Jeans, Finger Off, Mom Jeans, Colon Blow cereal, Big Red Viking, Chameleon XLE, Edible Diapers, Bass-O-Matic. I wish I had the time to link all of these.

3. Matt Foley the Motivational Speaker. "you didn't smoke it, did you?" My favorite skit ever.

4. Adam Sandler's "Red Hooded Sweatshirt"

5. The 1992 presidential debates...so many great Arkansas jokes!

6. The entire Christopher Walken episode. That one will be in our TiVo queue until the end of time. "My doll's name in Jenny..."

7. I love the current Miley Cyrus Show bits. That girl does a spot-on Miley..."It's pretty cool"

8. Oh goodness, the entire Best of Chris Farley. Anything Chris Farley. We used to watch that Best of Video that my friend Matt had on a VHS tape like twice a week in college.

9. My favorite Farleys...the Chippendales dancers, "diet starts monday" girls, Tales of Little Women, Beverly & Hank "ravioli? holy cannoli" (I esp. love any skits with Chris Farley & Adam Sandler, because Adam can never keep a straight face)

10. The old Jeopardy skits with Will Ferrell as Alex Trebec and with Burt Reynolds and Sean Connery.

11. The immigrants on the ship skit with Justin Timberlake

12. The Target Lady

13. The Bronx Beat ladies interviewing Jake Gyllenhaal "what are you, Sioux?"

14. My favorite Weekend Update host of all time- Norm McDonald

15. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy ("If God lives inside us like some people say, I sure hope he like's enchiladas, because that's what he's getting")

16. Laser Cats. I can't help it.

17. Anything where the stars crack each other up

18. The "Tonight Song" that was the opening monologue hosted by Steve Martin. "not gonna get liquored up tonight...won't take a drink...til Update is through..."

19. The Oops I Crapped My Pants commercial. "Because I use them, and I just did"

20. Massive Headwound Harry ("maybe he smells my dog?")

21. Peyton Manning's United Way PSA. Another all-time favorite (a nod to Matt Alley's coaching style at Wheaton)

22. I can't choose between all the Wayne's Worlds

23. Michael Vick, Really?! "Do you not keep weed at your house?"

24. Annuale commercial

25. Bill Hader as Stephon

The Oscars

1. First of all, the biggest tragedy of all...I taped the wrong red carpet show. I taped the one on that was on the same channel as the show. SO, no E! red carpet. No Guiliana. I was awful.
2. Of all the movies represented in the nominations, I only had seen Black Swan, Winter's Bone, The Social Network, and Country Strong (it was in there for best song, don't hate).
3. Best dressed...I can't decide a winner. It's between Gwyneth Paltrow (the photos don't do it justice) and Cate Blanchette. Also up there are Michele Williams, Mila Kunis, and Scarlett Johansson (these photos really don't capture what they looked like on TV)
4. Everyone says how bad James Franco was, but at least he wasn't cheesy and over-the-top like his partner Anne Hathaway. I was rooting for him, maybe because for some reason, he reminds me of my nephew Rafferty?
5. Worst dressed, for me, was Amy Adams. The hair, the dress, the necklace...it was hard to look at. I also did not like Nicole Kidman or Natalie Portman (NP was too matchy-matchy again, which was part of her problem at the Golden Globes)

6. At every awards show, there is a dress that I immediately love, then see it again and then hate it. Then I love it. Then I hate it. This continues...this dress at the Oscars was worn by Melissa Leo

7. I love Annette Benning. She is just radiant. And could her and Warren Beatty be any cuter?

8. My favorite quote of the night was James Franco's grandma saying, "I just saw Marky Mark!"

9. I thought the whole opening skit (Inception/Alec Baldwin's dream/movie sequence was funny.

10. I was sad that I didn't love any of Anne Hathaway's dresses (and there were plenty to choose from). Maybe Rachel Zoe's pregnancy brain is a little off.

11. Speaking of Anne, a few too many of her hairstyles looked straight out of "Princess Diaries."

12. Marissa Tomei looks so young! That woman is timeless. I thought she was Ashley Green the whole time they were interviewing her on the red carpet.

13. I am kind of obsessed with the fact that Michelle Williams and Busy Phillips are best friends. I love them. If only I had been cast as Joey Potter, I would not have married Tom Cruise and we would all three be best friends.

14. Florence Welch (from Florence + The Machine) was magic as always, but her dress was a little too reminiscent of Rachel Berry's during the Rachel Berry House Party.

15. I need to see King's Speech and The Fighter

16. I think next year I'll host an Oscars party.

My Favorite Top Chef Contestants

1. Richard Blais- Season 4
2. Casey- Season 3
3. CJ- Season 3
4. Fabio- Season 5
5. Michael- Season 2
6. Jen- Season 6
7. Elia- Season 2
8. Jeff- Season 5
9. Sam- Season 2
10. Tre- Season 3
11. Radhika- Season 5

My Favorite Bravo Stars

1. Bethenney Frankel

2. Jason Hoppy

3. Trace from Flipping Out

4. Brad from Rachel Zoe

5. Jeff Lewis

6. Zoila!

7. Tom Colicchio

8. Gail Simmons

9. The whole Novogratz family

10. Tabatha the hair lady

11. Nina Garcia

Top 10 TV Mini-Series Of All Time (taken from listverse)

1. Roots (Liked. I watched it when I was way too young to, which would also describe most of the tv and movies of my childhood)

2. Jesus of Nazareth

3. Band of Brothers (Loved. My grandpa bought HBO just to watch this)

4. The Winds of War

5. North and South (We watched this when it aired originally. My sisters and I can act out many scenes. To say it is a "dean classic" would be a gross understatement. LOVE)

6. Lonesome Dove (Also, a family classic. I made my husband watch this with me because he had never seen it, so now, he loves it, too. I own it. And North and South)

7. Shogun

8. Shaka Zula

9. Thornbirds (Another family classic. I remember wishing I looked like Meggie)

10. I, Claudius

11. V (We were into this one, too. I remember it being good, and I remember them eating mice whole)

12. Star Wars: Clone Wars

13. D'Artagnan and Three Musketeers

14. Gulliver's Travels

15. John Adams

My Favorite Glee Moments

1. Rachel losing her voice singing "The Climb"

2. The old lady librarian (in response to them singing "Whoomp, There It Is")..."That was cute! I'm going to talk to my pastor about you all performing at our Sunday service."

3. Sue and any time she makes fun of Mr. Schuster's hair or hair gel. (like "I think I smell cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves that live in your hair.")

4. Mr. Schuster and Neil Patrick Harris doing "Dream On."

5. Kurt's dad (on not obeying the "stay out..." sign on Kurt's door)..."I thought it was just the beginning of one of your murder mystery dinners!"

6. Anytime Brittany says anything.

7. "So you like show tunes. It doesn't mean your gay. It just means your awful." -Sue Sylvester, to Kurt.

8. I Am A Winner And You Are Fat, Sue's book title.

9. Rachel and Finn doing "Faithfully." That whole Journey medley was good.

10. Brittany's Lady Gaga costume with the silver lobster claws.

11. Rachel's Gaga costume her dads made with the stuffed animals falling off. "We've got a jumper," says Kurt.

TV Bad Boys That I Love

1. Duh, Pacey Witter, Dawson's Creek
2. Tim Riggins, Friday Night Lights
3. Puck, Glee
4. Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
5. Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars
6. Mark Sloane, Grey's Anatomy
7. Jordan Catalanno, My So-Called Life
8. Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
9. Dylan McKay, Beverly Hills 90210

10. Lincoln Burrows, Prison Break
And, yes, a lot of high school characters...maybe I have issues

Artists I'd Like To See Featured On Glee

1. Bon Jovi
2. David Gray
3. Aerosmith
4. Pearl Jam
5. Elton John

6. Garth Brooks

7. Van Morrison

Why I Love Saved By The Bell

1. Zack's "asides" moments
2. Admit it, you sing that theme song randomly at least once a month
3. Slater's tank tops and jeans
4. A12...don't we all wish we had one
5. The Snow White and the 7 Dorks episode...."at first I didn't like all this drama, but now I trust you, so kiss me mama!" -Slater
6. Zack and Kelly's Prom
7. I would've hated to be at Bayside and not one of those guys...they ran the school! They were in every club (glee, student council, etc), had a band (Zack Attack), and dominated all the sports teams.
8. I still have my VHS tape of the Saved By The Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas I taped from tv. That video montage at Kelly and Zack's wedding was a tear jerker!
9. What I didn't like: Tori, the motorcyle girl. Ugh, she was randomly in episodes during the last season, and not even at graduation. Good riddance. She was butchy and awkward.
10. Who I did love: Violet Ann Biggerstaff. Or Bickerstaff. I don't know, but I loved her. Tori Spelling at her greatest.
11. Zack's cardboard cutout of Kelly in her volleyball uniform
12. Kelly reminded me of my older sister when she was in high school--pretty, cheerleader, squeaky clean, hotly pursued by the boys
13. The awkward brunette twins that never have any lines
14. "The sauce-a you can have, but the secret, she's-a mine." -Screech
15. I also really liked the Stacy Carosi character. Those Malibu Sands episodes were good.
16. They all got really great offers for college, but Zack (with his 1500s on the SAT), Kelly, Slater (what happened to his Iowa wrestling scholarship?), and Screech (valedictorian who got accepted to so many schools) all ended up at Cal U.
17. The Buddy Bands video
18. SBTB dealt with heavy social issues--remember the caffeine pills (sure you do), the Kapowski family financial struggles, the oil spill on campus, the drunk driving episode with Mrs. Turtle's car, and the homeless man they befriended at the mall during the Christmas holiday?
19. "In one word, would I do dope? Nope." -Zack
20. "Pick you up at 7:00?" -Slater, "No, I'll pick YOU up at 7:00" -Jessie
21. I would have also fallen for the charming Rod Belding. What a disappointment.
22. Loved the songs- Did We Ever Have A Chance, the rewritten School Song, and Friends Forever
23. Although it is always made fun of, the "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so, so scared!" scene still brings chills and tears for me.
24. I read this article about Beverly Cleary's one condition for the new Ramona and Beezus movie...that it be timeless and not include any trendy clothing or current gadgets. I immediately thought of SBTB...think Zack's HUGE cell phone, all the Z Cavarrici jeans, Zack's huge basketball shoes he wore every day, well-all the clothes. Also, tons of references to what we now would consider early 90's pop culture.
25. I also didn't like that manager from the Max, Jeff. What a homewrecker. That Zack and Kelly break-up episode at the costume ball was brutal. Zack Attack singing, "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You" (Slater and Jessie duo...they weren't really singing, right?)

Brochure's In Counselor Emma Pilsbury's Office (Glee)

1. Loose

2. Toxic Shock

3. Congratulations, You're Pregnant

4. Do I Have Aspergers?

5. RADON: The Silent [Killer]

6. Yuk! My Privates

7. My Mom's Bipolar And She Won't Stop Yelling

8. Proper Wiping Easy As 1-2-3

9. Why Is There Blood

10. Autism The...

11. I Still Breastfeed, But How Old Is Too Old

12. Help! I'm In Love With My Stepdad