The Voice Memos In My iPhone

1. Albert screaming, "no, no, no, no!" (better delete that one, it seems really weird & I don't know why it's on there)

2. Me dictating a Whole Foods shopping list- eggs, waxed paper bags, strawberry chips, greek yogurt, & seltzer

3. Me saying Anthony Pack Urban Folk Art I was trying to remember to look up this artist I love who makes these cute little guys

4. Me dictating directions of how to get from my brother's house to my grandpa's house via the Hootentown bridge (it's really confusing and I used to get lost every time before I made this voice memo)

5. W when she was littler (last April) saying a list of all the boys she knows and all the girls she knows. I LOVE this one.

6. W talking about going to see my parents. We were on our way to Arkansas. "We're going to see my Googie! She's my girl! We are almost there!" Her voice sounds so sweet and little.

7. Me dictating songs I was listening to on a road trip for a previous list

8. My sweet nephew Rafferty singing the alphabet

9. W saying R's name for the first time

10. Rafferty singing Old MacDonald two summers ago

11. My other nephew singing some other song that I don't know, but it sure is cute

12. Him singing another song about not killing and eating animals- it's one of his originals that it awesome "don't kill any kind of fish!" is the last line of this version. I think it changes every time.

Favorite Saturday Night Live Moments, Of All Time

1. The Taco Town commercial. My favorite SNL commercial ever.

2. Speaking of commercials, Bad Idea Jeans, Finger Off, Mom Jeans, Colon Blow cereal, Big Red Viking, Chameleon XLE, Edible Diapers, Bass-O-Matic. I wish I had the time to link all of these.

3. Matt Foley the Motivational Speaker. "you didn't smoke it, did you?" My favorite skit ever.

4. Adam Sandler's "Red Hooded Sweatshirt"

5. The 1992 presidential debates...so many great Arkansas jokes!

6. The entire Christopher Walken episode. That one will be in our TiVo queue until the end of time. "My doll's name in Jenny..."

7. I love the current Miley Cyrus Show bits. That girl does a spot-on Miley..."It's pretty cool"

8. Oh goodness, the entire Best of Chris Farley. Anything Chris Farley. We used to watch that Best of Video that my friend Matt had on a VHS tape like twice a week in college.

9. My favorite Farleys...the Chippendales dancers, "diet starts monday" girls, Tales of Little Women, Beverly & Hank "ravioli? holy cannoli" (I esp. love any skits with Chris Farley & Adam Sandler, because Adam can never keep a straight face)

10. The old Jeopardy skits with Will Ferrell as Alex Trebec and with Burt Reynolds and Sean Connery.

11. The immigrants on the ship skit with Justin Timberlake

12. The Target Lady

13. The Bronx Beat ladies interviewing Jake Gyllenhaal "what are you, Sioux?"

14. My favorite Weekend Update host of all time- Norm McDonald

15. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy ("If God lives inside us like some people say, I sure hope he like's enchiladas, because that's what he's getting")

16. Laser Cats. I can't help it.

17. Anything where the stars crack each other up

18. The "Tonight Song" that was the opening monologue hosted by Steve Martin. "not gonna get liquored up tonight...won't take a drink...til Update is through..."

19. The Oops I Crapped My Pants commercial. "Because I use them, and I just did"

20. Massive Headwound Harry ("maybe he smells my dog?")

21. Peyton Manning's United Way PSA. Another all-time favorite (a nod to Matt Alley's coaching style at Wheaton)

22. I can't choose between all the Wayne's Worlds

23. Michael Vick, Really?! "Do you not keep weed at your house?"

24. Annuale commercial

25. Bill Hader as Stephon

Jobs In My Family

1. My husband's a commercial real estate broker
2. My dad's a railroader
3. My mom and my mother-in-law are realtors
4. My little sister works at a bakery
5. My brother's a principal
6. My father-in-law, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law are all lawyers
7. My brother-in-law works for Verizon (after 15 years, can't I just call Ryan my brother?)
8. My grandpa is a retired soldier and medical prison guard
9. Another brother-in-law is in the Air Force Band
10. My sister-in-law works for the opera in D.C.

What We Do When We Have To Leave Our Loft For A Showing

1. Drive around and look at potential houses

2. Hang out with the Langs

3. Go to my in-laws

4. Spend way too much time at PetSmart (because Puddy's always with us, too)

5. Drive through Sonic

6. Go to Lafayette Park

7. Drive around while the kids sleep if it's nap time

8. Talk to my sister on the phone

9. Play scavenger hunts in the car like we were on a road trip vacation

10. Lurk on our street so we can see who's touring our loft

11. Go to SweetArt for cupcakes

When I Asked W What She Wanted To Do For Her Birthday, She Said She Wanted...

1. A present

2. A pink cake

3. To go somewhere on an adventure with mommy and daddy and R, but not Puddy

4. A fancy present

5. To go out to eat at a restaurant

6. Her cousins will come, too

7. Maybe watch a movie

8. Todd's restaurant (?) where the waitress gives you pizza

9. That's it

The Oscars

1. First of all, the biggest tragedy of all...I taped the wrong red carpet show. I taped the one on that was on the same channel as the show. SO, no E! red carpet. No Guiliana. I was awful.
2. Of all the movies represented in the nominations, I only had seen Black Swan, Winter's Bone, The Social Network, and Country Strong (it was in there for best song, don't hate).
3. Best dressed...I can't decide a winner. It's between Gwyneth Paltrow (the photos don't do it justice) and Cate Blanchette. Also up there are Michele Williams, Mila Kunis, and Scarlett Johansson (these photos really don't capture what they looked like on TV)
4. Everyone says how bad James Franco was, but at least he wasn't cheesy and over-the-top like his partner Anne Hathaway. I was rooting for him, maybe because for some reason, he reminds me of my nephew Rafferty?
5. Worst dressed, for me, was Amy Adams. The hair, the dress, the necklace...it was hard to look at. I also did not like Nicole Kidman or Natalie Portman (NP was too matchy-matchy again, which was part of her problem at the Golden Globes)

6. At every awards show, there is a dress that I immediately love, then see it again and then hate it. Then I love it. Then I hate it. This continues...this dress at the Oscars was worn by Melissa Leo

7. I love Annette Benning. She is just radiant. And could her and Warren Beatty be any cuter?

8. My favorite quote of the night was James Franco's grandma saying, "I just saw Marky Mark!"

9. I thought the whole opening skit (Inception/Alec Baldwin's dream/movie sequence was funny.

10. I was sad that I didn't love any of Anne Hathaway's dresses (and there were plenty to choose from). Maybe Rachel Zoe's pregnancy brain is a little off.

11. Speaking of Anne, a few too many of her hairstyles looked straight out of "Princess Diaries."

12. Marissa Tomei looks so young! That woman is timeless. I thought she was Ashley Green the whole time they were interviewing her on the red carpet.

13. I am kind of obsessed with the fact that Michelle Williams and Busy Phillips are best friends. I love them. If only I had been cast as Joey Potter, I would not have married Tom Cruise and we would all three be best friends.

14. Florence Welch (from Florence + The Machine) was magic as always, but her dress was a little too reminiscent of Rachel Berry's during the Rachel Berry House Party.

15. I need to see King's Speech and The Fighter

16. I think next year I'll host an Oscars party.

My Embarrassingly Mindless Monday Night TV Lineup

1. How I Met Your Mother
2. Greek
3. The Bachelor
4. Gossip Girl
5. Cash and Cari